Steam Room Quantum Mechanics

Mexico In a Nutshell

2009-07-31T19:13:00.003-05:00

Maybe you'd like to see photos from Mexico City's Pride parade.

Or some photos of hotties that I've taken?

Or, read about what a summer's night is like in the 2nd largest city in the world?

How about an artsy piece about performance art, blood, and glances from cute guys?

Check out my adventures in Mexico City!

Swine Flu, Mexico City + Cute Blog

2009-04-26T13:49:00.004-05:00

Since some of my friends have been asking, here is a link to my post on swine flu at my Ryan's Adventures blog

And here is a link to Enrico's blog Hotel Tuesday...he's adorable

UPDATE: I had the wrong link for my other blog, but it is fixed now!

Want to Visit Mexico City?

2009-04-19T21:53:00.003-05:00

Check out my guide for flying to Mexico City at ryansadventures.wordpress.com. I rank the various airlines I've tried, their pros and cons, and give a few tips on finding a ticket! Now you too can come see me.

Hottie

2009-03-03T18:46:00.002-06:00

It's Time To Leave

2009-03-03T18:41:00.002-06:00

As President Obama seeks to restore the US to economic glory and institute a wide variety of domestic programs, two wars continue rage without end in the Middle East. Having never learned the historical lessons of Afghanistan--namely, that few if any imperial powers or invaders have ever succeeded there--the US continues a war started 7 years ago, continues to support an Afghanistan which remains woefully corrupt and inefficient, and has yet to destroy Al Qaeda or the Taliban. On top of that, the 6 year old Iraq war with its own trials. And yet, we spend billions on war when the nation is falling apart.

The time is to leave. We can't do that without consequences, and there will those. The Afghanistan government will fall, and the country will be in the hands of the radicals and terrorists again. Iraq may fair better, or it may dissolve into civil war. But we need our money here, we need our focus closer to home where Mexico is on the verge of losing control of sections of its country to drug lords and our corporations seem to think that bailouts are gifts without strings and a well they can continue to drink from.

It's time to leave, to cut our losses, admit our mistakes, and hope that 7 years of war hasn't destroyed our civilization like endless war has in the past.

Warren, Obama, and Gay Rights

2008-12-28T14:35:00.002-06:00

I have been dismayed with the choice of Rich Warren by President-Elect Obama as a key participant in the inauguration. In particular, this choice confirms my suspicions (raised last spring) about Obama that his centrism and religious beliefs ultimately may harm the LGBTQ community, especially in light of the numbers of Obama supporters who turned out to be homophobes in California. Granted, Obama has promised to include diverse groups in his administration so as to represent a cornucopia of voices, rather than a political ideology. But, his refusal to be on the "right" side of this historical issue is troubling, and it remains to be seen whether he will sacrifice sexual minorities--including all of my voracious friends who marched in the Chicago PRIDE parade with pink Obama shirts--when it is politically expedient so as to achieve a larger political goal. Obama has been and remains a key figure of hope, an audacious hope in an America which no longer is beholden to and hostage of the "agents of intolerance," so many of whom, we've discovered, are so intolerant because of their own self-loathing. Rev. Haggard? Senator Craig? And, I still believe, Rev. Robertson?

However, are we looking at the sort of hope that Harvey Milk sought and that LGBTQ activists have fought for for decades? Or, a hope that Obama won't slide into the "don't ask, don't tell" backstabbing of Bill Clinton, once his own honeymoon was squandered, and he had to make policy in a "center-right" nation.

Frank Rich, writing in the NY Times, has a great column and much to say on this topic and the fact that gay people are "likable enough" for the Obama camp which is reveling in its political capital by choosing Warren. One of my favorite moments:

But we're not there yet. Warren’s defamation of gay people illustrates why, as does our president-elect’s rationalization of it. When Obama defends Warren’s words by calling them an example of the “wide range of viewpoints” in a “diverse and noisy and opinionated” America, he is being too cute by half. He knows full well that a “viewpoint” defaming any minority group by linking it to sexual crimes like pedophilia is unacceptable.

Indeed. I'm all for moving the country to a new position and doing so in a way that ensures Proposition 8 disasters don't happen again. But I grow tired of the "need" of homosexuals to subordinate their rights for party unity without much in the way of progress on an institutional level. We may be winning the cultural wars one bloody battle at a time, but we are often failing politically. And it is those losses which will scar the face of American human and civil rights for a generation, despite the newer opportunities LGBTQ individuals may have in the United States today.

Gotta Problem? Hunger? Poverty? Financial Crisis? It's Because of the Gays

2008-12-04T10:44:00.001-06:00

Prop 8 the Musical

2008-12-04T10:17:00.000-06:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Richard Simmons as a Jet Ski!

2008-11-24T16:18:00.000-06:00

Dude! You Never Make Them Touch!

2008-11-20T21:13:00.002-06:00

This is so worth your time, but NSFW. I love the guy's eyes!

Dan Savage Savages Tony Perkins

2008-11-20T11:51:00.000-06:00

on Prop 8. Go Dan.

Adam Garcia--New Crush

2008-11-20T11:32:00.000-06:00

Yum.

Enjoy the Silence

2008-11-19T12:04:00.001-06:00

This continues to be a song that gets me dancing in my skivies. And since it seems that Mexico has resulted in a minor weight loss, it looks pretty good in my mirror, haha.

Something to Get You Through Monday

2008-11-17T09:11:00.001-06:00

How about Mark Kirkham? From Jean Bernard.

On Marriage and Nature: Prop 8 Considered

2008-11-15T09:56:00.003-06:00

Note: This originally was a post on IlliniPundit in response to Glock21's post and Narc's interest in others posting.

It has always startled me to see people bandy about the word "marriage" as something that has existed in some unchanged form for all time. In addition, sexual norms are linked to this form of "marriage" as if they are naturally connected and flowing from each other. The "evidence" offered by such individuals is a reliance on tradition, religious authority, and texts that are, while at times compelling to read, hardly sufficient to express the complexity of human interactions nor are every considered in their historical contexts or through the lens of the intervening 2000 years or more of history. The presentism of humanity is understandable--we after all only live a short time and we think of the past through our present, modifying our memories as we go, personal or collective, to suit our present--but it is also dismaying, especially when evidence exists to the contrary. Prior to George Chauncey, John Boswell, and a slew of other scholoars, we KNEW that there were no gay people prior to the 1970s, that homosexuals themselves were rather "new" and a product of a corrupt culture, and that homosexuality was something always considered morally, scientifically, medically, or socially wrong, immoral, and unnatural.

Let us be clear on one point: no matter what an ancient text may say, the fact of the matter is that historical evidence from a variety of time periods and cultures--including all of those that are descended from the Abrahamic traditions and Judeo-Christianity--demonstrates without a doubt that "marriage' has never had a singular meaning or significance. What more conservative folks attempt to do is link procreation to marriage, and therefore, to children, which is a move that is designed to remove the rights of current citizens in favor of the "future", the future citizen, and the demigod of the defenseless child. Historically, all societies have had an interest in children and procreation, but this interest has not been tied, as conservatives try now, to marriage as we know it, and a plethora of family structures existed. Rome functioned very well for centuries with patterns of adoption, including among the Emperors: Trajan was Hadrian's adoptive guardian, for example, and any historian of Roman history will show you that Hadrian was homosexually inclined, yet also one of the greatest of Rome's emperors. Spartan men may have preferred each other--as did other Greek men, since it was believed, probably correctly, that the sexes understood each other less than they did members of the same sex--but that did not prevent them from doing their duty of procreating. Islamic Spaniards of three religious traditions--Christian, Islamic, and Jewish--practiced multiple forms of bonding that were considered marriages, including those which were 'homosexual'.
Marriage at the time of the Hebrew Bible was often polygamist. Many consider that now morally wrong, but that doesn't bely the point that marriage then was not one man, one woman. Solomon did have 1000 wives, not to mention his concubines. Marriage in 1500s Christian Germany also was not linked to procreation but to social advancement and economics, much like it was in India. Marriage in 1200s Europe included anyone who wanted to bond with each other for life, including same sex pairs. Marriage in the courts of Christian Europe was about politics and trading through the bodies of a woman, and even as they were expected to bear sons, this again does not link marriage to procreation but suggest that procreation was a desired product of the political and economic unions that were enshrined in marriage. Today, we supposedly marry for love, not a societal directive that everyone must have a certain number of children.
Historically speaking, humans have been much less concerned about sex than we seem to be today, an obsession that Foucault claimed originated in the Victorian period, but one that I would argue started as soon as communication made people aware of what was going on in the cloistered spaces of the world. In Japan, there was little concern with homosexuality until after Western traders arrived; not until 1900 was homosexuality regarded as "sinful" by a people without a concept of sin prior to that moment. And Japan got along just fine with its procreative actions, producing plenty, if not at times too many, people, even as samurai screwed the handsome boys down the lane. Cloistered nuns and monks, despite their marriages to God, enjoyed each other frequently, but their actions did not threaten these holy marriages, nor the more mundane marriages out in the rest of the world. Sex was considered and activity, not an identity; our modern times have made identity sexualized. But "marriage" as we understand it is heterosexual, a concept that didn't exist until the turn of the century 1900, one that required an "other', that being homosexual.

So, claims that marriage has had one form, one ideal, one practice, one expression are patently, historically false, despite the appeal it may have for people to claim as such. In other words, the single largest claim that conservative individuals have about marriage--that it is 'natural' in the one man, one woman form, that it has always been about children and stable societies in so far as it ascribes to our present ideas of family, society, and morality--is false. We are thus left with a reality that rights are being legislated away because of the inaccurate ideas of marriage held by a sector of American society who, ironically, also claim that marriage needs to be protected because it is somehow threatened. What is threatened, in reality, is their inaccurate conception of human relationships and the social and economic prestige the current view of marriage confers on some in society vis a vis others. But if we want to reduce it even further to the basic issue--should all those in society who wish to pair with another human, regardless of sex, be allowed to in American society--then the choice is one of terminology and morality. If society gives benefits to pairs, then why not all pairs? Heterosexuals will not stop marrying if gays are allowed to, nor will there be a shortage of children produced. If it is a matter of terminology, then all pairs should be called civil unions and the term "marriage", with its historically fraught past, can be left to the religious authorities, with their own historically fraught past. A match made in heaven, as it were. The government should be in the business of promoting relationships, not in sanctioning a religious moral code, given that marriage has not ever been consistent in its implementation, and therefore, there is no temporal traditional authority to which one can make a claim. Furthermore, if marriage is truly about children, and even if we allow for grandparents since they did at once have children, there are plenty of non-reproductive couples, either by choice or not, who would not qualify for marriage. Why their "form" of pairing is somehow better for society vis a vis a gay or lesbian couple, or any other pair in the so-called "alphabet soup," is not clear beyond a simple prejudice for the heterosexual pair who got married and were sanctified by state and church. In fact, it shows the basic inhumanity of the opposition to gay pairs, their public affirmation, and the support for their love; indeed, it shows the basic interest among many is to segregate and delineate the "good" from the "bad" based on beliefs which are historically false and which happen to undermine attempts at equality and liberty. If pairs are our society's unit, then pairs must be sanctioned in a variety of forms; to do otherwise is to make second-class citizens of many good people and to inject religion into a government which is meant to protect religion, but not promote religious views as tyranny against the minority.

Keith Olbermann, Love, and Proposition 8

2008-11-11T22:58:00.002-06:00

Maybe there is some decency left in this world. And another reason that Keith Olbermann remains one of the few journalists I find worth while. From Fedja.

Cute Guy Sings Tribute to John Williams and Star Wars!!!! Watch it!

2008-11-07T01:42:00.003-06:00

You must watch this! OMG! Geeeky cute and a singer! Kill me now!

Obama Front Page

2008-11-06T11:28:00.001-06:00

Just a cool link with lots of newspaper front pages about Obama.

Losing California

2008-11-06T11:09:00.003-06:00

After all the euphoria of Tuesday night has settled, the harsh reality remains: as a gay person, I, like friends and millions of people I don't know, lost out on Tuesday night because the people of California decided to take a huge step backwards rather than continuing their progressive approach towards civil rights. Ironically it seems that this is in part due to a reverse Bradley affect: African-Americans came out in droves to vote and overwhelmingly voted for Proposition 8, as did Roman Catholic Latinos. While young people in general voted against Prop 8, older people voted for it, and the result: an unholy alliance between older whites and minorities of all ages, evangelicals and Catholics, and a huge number of Democrats, all of whom seem to think that two men or two women hitting it with each other is a dire threat to their own marriages and their kids. A second irony is that nearly the same number of voters opposed a proposition that would have damaged abortion rights in California, meaning that these people are pro sexual rights in one sense, but are homophobic. And, as I wrote much earlier in the year, while president-elect Obama does not support gay marriage but does support civil unions and opposed Prop 8, I see little happening in his administration due to the Democratic position of leaving it up to states. Well the states are speaking: Arizona, which was the only state to defeat such a hateful measure two years ago, amended its constitution. Florida did the same. Arkansas made it illegal for gay people to adopt. Social conservatives are willing this cultural war of fear, stripping rights from a minority by majority vote, a miscarriage of democracy and justice so vile that it threatens to undermine all the hope displayed on Tuesday night. Can we say for sure, as gay people, that our lives will be better under Obama, not so much by what he does, but by a societal schizophrenia that allows change yet stifles progress? Once more, I'm reminded how I am a second-class citizen, and while it may be the case that class or race can help mitigate these problems, the shear fact is this: if Jews or Lutherans or African-Americans were constitutionally prohibited, in 2008, from having rights, Americans would not stand for it. But because two people who love each other happen to have the same genitalia, the American people go holy ape shit and decide they need to "protect" rights by denying them to others. There are few battlegrounds left--over 35 states have legislated our rights away. And if it can happen in California, it can happen anywhere.

Election 2008

2008-11-04T09:37:00.001-06:00

My prediction on the outcome:

My prediction if everything goes as it should Obama's way:

RIP Studs Terkel

2008-10-31T16:47:00.002-05:00

I remember when I met Studs Terkel. It was a bitterly cold November day in Chicago, with heavy gray skies and winds dipping the temperature below freezing. My friend Joe and I were attending the Chicago Humanities Festival, a wonderful event if you've never gone. And, one of the many events we chose to attend that year was a talk by Studs Terkel.

Studs spoke in the Methodist cathedral, a church/skyscraper hybrid. He spoke about America, about the people he met and the people for whom he always had a craving--everyday people, living lives in this nation midst the tensions of class, race, and gender. He was the people's sociologist, the next-door anthropologist, a man who spoke theory from the trenches rather than from the ivory towers, through the words of his interviewees, rather than through his own.

Studs shook my hand in the vestibule of that church, smiled, and wished me well. He was so full of live, and at 96, one has to agree, that he lived a full life.

Rest in peace, Studs Terkel.

Obama's Case for America

2008-10-30T22:28:00.002-05:00

I hope that Tuesday night, all of you in the States can rejoice that this man is elected President, a man who has come into his own as a leader and who exhibits the qualities that we need. This made me cry, and while that may mean I'm sappy, to all of your in the states, when Obama wins, drink a toast for me.

Awesome Fan Trailer for Star Trek XI

2008-10-26T13:29:00.000-05:00

Hot Damn! I love the gays too!

2008-10-26T12:18:00.001-05:00

Mary Steckleberg shows her love in this catchy tune. And I can I have the guy behind her? Please? Hattip: David

If you're in California, please vote NO on proposition 8.

Boys + Speedos + Jello = Delicious

2008-10-26T11:17:00.001-05:00

Star Trek Gets Sexy

2008-10-26T10:56:00.003-05:00

Woof. The casting is clearly making Star Trek sexy for the upcoming redeux of the original series in the film...set to com out in December while I'm in Mexico :(

Gay Scientists Find Christian Gene!

2008-10-26T10:52:00.002-05:00

Now we know that Christianity is genetically determined! Haha!

Betty White: Obama is Sexy and Palin a Crazy Bitch

2008-10-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

Defeat California Proposition 8: Donate Now

2008-10-09T10:47:00.002-05:00

So the Mormons and their vile Church of Latter Day Saints have been pouring money into California to pass Proposition 8 which would destroy that sliver of American liberty and dignity that was achieved when the Supreme Court ruled that Californian gays and lesbians could legally marry. Nearly 10 million dollars exists in difference between what the Mormons and their cronies and that supporters of the real truth and light--indeed the hope of our liberal democracy--have raised. Go to this site and donate now. I know there is an election going on. I know there are other problems, some which are huge. But the reason this will pass is because bigots convince good Americans that they should be afraid of people who are different, who cause not harm to them, and who are even their sons, daughters, friends, and neighbors. And because I see these initiatives as linked, I'll kick in another dollar for each reader who donates to this cause to the Obama campaign.

Ryan's a Super Lefty

2008-10-07T17:52:00.001-05:00

There you have it. You can find out where you stand here. Hattip to Pug.

Something to Get You Through Monday

2008-10-05T23:58:00.001-05:00

Dusting off an old favorite series. Enjoy.

Tlatelolco, 1968

2008-10-05T23:55:00.000-05:00

See what I've been up to in Mexico!

New Blog

2008-09-30T21:03:00.002-05:00

Here it is: ryansadventures.wordpress.com/

Not much there yet, but stay tuned. This blog will retain it's focus on pop culture, politics, and menz, haha.

McCain Takes Cum Money

2008-09-23T17:58:00.004-05:00

Always the hypocrite, John McCain's campaign claimed that it had returned a $100,000 donation from Jonathan Crutchley, one of the founders of gay sex site ManHunt, who himself was "outed" as hypocritical by numerous gay sites and outraged clients. I mean come on--you run a gay sex site and you support the Republicans? This mental disjuncture is the same one that created the Log Cabin Republicans...and Andrew Sullivan's idea that if gays could marry and go to war, we'd "disappear" because we'd be "normal." Bullshit. Crutchley represents the brand of self-hating, holier-than-thou, disapproving gay men who on one hand benefit from the sexual content of gay culture--in Crutchley's case directly from hookups--while denouncing the culture as not "respectable" on the other. Much like some acquaintances of mine who, rather than just saying Pride is not for them, call it nothing more than a hormonal shag fest with nothing to be proud of. Of course, these are the same boys shagging everyone they can, who still go to the clubs, but wear nice clothes, have respectable jobs, and put on a front.

As for McCain, he didn't return the money, which shows his campaign is very interested in any form of funding, even if it comes, pun intended, from gay men and self-hating gay homophobes who think that the Republicans are really sort of swell. I mean, after all, they only made it impossible to marry in over half the union and think that the government has a right to tell you where you put your dick. But that's ok, there's always Manhunt, right? And airport bathroom stalls. Larry Craig, are you listening?

From Queerty and Politico.

Update:

2008-09-23T17:58:00.001-05:00

So I'm in Mexico. My new blog chronicling my adventures will be available soon--I'm journaling everyday. But keep your eyes peeled. :)

Take Note, Cowering Liberals

2008-09-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

All Good Things...

2008-09-14T02:49:00.003-05:00

So, here we go. After some wonderful times with friends, the chapter of my life as I know it is coming to a close. Soon, I will embark on a new journey, one in which I'm sure I'll face new challenges and learn who I am becoming. Watching tonight friends mingle together and wonder how it will be in a week when I'm gone was poignant, like watching a film about myself, only I had to sit in the audience. People continue, laughs continue, lives continue.

As for this blog...it started because a friend of mine (Matt) suggested I do a blog right about the time that I had grown interested in reading them. It has matured and changed with me and has come to represent much of what I feel and think about the world and my own personal obsessions. But the life it described is fleeting in this place, so its future is something to consider. Certainly a new blog chronicling my travels is forthcoming, and perhaps this one will remain a repository of my philosophical thoughts, musings on men, and cultural interests. I'm unsure. For now, thanks for reading and wish me luck--I stand at the precipice, my friends have girded me well with their love, but the next steps are my own. While our nation decides its fate for the next four years, I am moving on; while my friends grow and change with their research and jobs, I will be experiencing that bittersweet sensation of living in a new culture. Luckily, we have the internet to stay in touch, to kindle some love perhaps, to mingle cyberly when physical presence is impossible.

Now, in the quiet of the morning after...the morning which begins the final countdown...I sit on my friend's couch alone, hoping that what comes in the next month isn't as daunting as I suspect it might be. For now, all good things come to an end...and all ends are new beginnings. It's time to take the plunge, put all the chips on the table, and see if just maybe...maybe...I can have it all.

Farewell to who I was, hello to who I am becoming. Until soon to who I will be.

Cuddling...

2008-09-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

is fun.

"Vicious Scumbags" At Fox

2008-09-11T23:22:00.002-05:00

Proof that Fox can't be considered a news source but is only a bunch of "vicious scumbags" who hate everything that makes this nation great...and are white oligarchs calling the kettle black.

hattip

Vote Michael Palin--So Much Better Than Sarah

2008-09-11T23:15:00.001-05:00

hattip

Shades of the American President: How Obama Must Talk From Now On

2008-09-11T23:08:00.001-05:00

Kick ass.

Chasing Cars

2008-09-10T03:43:00.000-05:00

This is exactly how I feel:

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
--Snow Patrol

America, Hypocrisy Is Thy Name

2008-09-10T02:25:00.002-05:00

When pondering the sudden rise of the McCain/Palin ticket in the national polls, I was struck by the significant levels of hypocrisy which lace the current Republican rhetoric. And the most glaring example of this is a complete and utter lack of any responsibility among conservatives. One moment they bash Obama for being "unexperienced," the next, they are praising Palin as a reformer with tons of experience who once ran the second-largest city in Alaska. If anything, this proves the Rove model fully: lie enough, and people will repeat the lies until the point that they become truths. Or in other words, raise "reasonable" doubts about your opponent, slander him, drop in racial undertones, and lie until everyone agrees with you in their own ignorance. (And Fairbanks, Mr. Rove, is the second-largest city, not Palin's separatist conclave.)

Yet, liberals and Democrats (and no they are not the same thing) are ham-handed in responding, falling victim to all sorts of traps and proving themselves unwilling for a fight. America looks on, biting into the red meat Republicans present--such as claims about the failures of the Democrats and how the McCain/Palin ticket represents "change--while dismissing the issues as irrelevant because of how they feel about the candidates. Let's be honest--Republicans get away with this because they have been the party of cheap talk and big lies, but represent either what people aspire to--i.e., wealthy irresponsibility sanctified by holier than moral authority and supposed divine intervention: in a sense the ability to fuck over their neighbors and get away with it and rich at the same time by the grace of a deity--or because the majority of the "American Dream" has become such a fiction that everyone would rather go on believing things aren't that bad, that the world is black and white, that God sanctifies all that we do, that we are justified in judging those who are different than us, because, gosh darn it, we're the City on the Hill, we're America, and we are entitled to think and do what we want without any responsibility whatsoever.

America doesn't take responsibility for it's international actions or its domestic failures; it blames homosexual sin for Katrina, even as a hurricane hits Louisiana during the Republican convention; it absolves conservative parents of responsibility for their children's preganancies even as they attack people in favor of abortion, adoption, and women's rights and argue that society is permissive and promotes such preganancies. Everyone is so mired in complicity that it's fun to attack those who are different lest the hypocrisy of oneself and one's friends become apparent. And the media give in, the Democrats remain spineless, and the dream of change for Obama dies another small death each day.

We'll get what we deserve in November: a half-dead president who will ruin what little remains of the public good, a VP who will ascend into power as a religious zealot, and the complete loss of any remaining standing in the world. All because we're too afraid to admit our mistakes. Just like the Republicans. All because we'd rather attack and be vicious, rather than live up to our Christian ideals. Just like the Republicans. All because we race bait, gender bait, and use wedge issues to frighten people as some of us benefit with even more of the national treasure. Just like the Republicans.

All hail the white oligarchs! May they preside over the dismantling of America and replace it with the First North American Empire of Hypocrisy. Palpatine would be proud.

Bittersweet

2008-09-08T22:01:00.004-05:00

So, of course, when the timing is bad, someone appears that intrigues me enough to want to enjoy how things play out. I was single for a year and a year before that...and now, when an opportunity appears, I'm leaving the country. Getting off the phone a moment ago, I heard the bittersweet notes in his voice that our time is rapidly ending, that the fun that sandwiched the summer will again have to sandwich time apart.

Sigh. The bittersweetness of life cuts like a butcher, discerning but without concern to the sinews that longed to remain together.

On Limbo and Leaving

2008-09-04T13:03:00.004-05:00

Last Friday marked the fourth Friday without permenent residence for me, at least in the sense that I no longer have my sun-filled apartment that I had a love-hate relationship with for 5 years. Five years. It's amazing the residues that a person leaves in a place over five years, and as I have driven around Champaign the past few weeks, I have noticed more of them. In that park, the last guy I loved broke up with me; over there, the first conversation with what would become a great friend after graduate Orientation week. In that bar, so many memories, great beers, and conversations on politics, life, and all the flotsam and jetsam that friends talk about on a Saturday night.

In a sense, it feels as if I exist in a limbo-land, one in which some of the people I know and cherish still remain here, while others are gone, whether having moved away or just on an academic trip of the sort that I am approaching myself. I'm exhilerated to leave this place...and terrified to do so. Life here is comfortable, a haven from my earlier incarnations of life, the place I really flowered socially and personally as a closer approximation of who I am. And I have a friend base now that continues to grow, even as I'm much of a phantom, an apparition of possible friendships and loves that are stillborn with the impending plane ride only a short time away. It was here I had my first loves, found courage to be myself, discovered that I wasn't as stupid as I had worried, learned that there were others who shared my perspectives on life, and felt the bittersweet burns of interacting with people you had to watch leave or could never fully be with.

My friends have been glorious these past few weeks. Three, so far, have offered their homes to me to ensure that I could continue to do work and have my "life", so much as it is, still be here, rather than lost in the doldrums of the prairie town I outgrew so many years ago, but never realized as so small until I lived here and saw glimpses of a larger world: of weekends in Chicago with amazing people, of boys who would smile back at me in a coffee shop or on a dance floor, of walks in parks having conversations about life with lovers and friends, of travels to Costa Rica and Mexico, Boston and DC, of conferences and intellectual puzzles, of seductions, heartbreak, malaise and rebirth. All of this distills for me now into a tincture of unease, of trying to hold onto what I had, of grasping fog: I feel the coolness on my hands, the moist gray that surrounds me like a blanket, but I reach out, and it is gone.

Did my life here exist? People always say that writers want to live forever in their writings and that others live on in the memories, stories, and love of those they touched. As both a writer and someone else who has inexplicably touched others, the longing for a life in which all these amazing people remain, characters in my story, is powerful. But that desire for fixity, for stability in a groundless world is a empty dream, one that denies the very dynamism of myself and those who have blessed me with friendship: that all things, pardon the cliche, change.

I've lingered a bit to long--sure there were good reasons, but I can't deny that I'm afraid. Terrified even of what awaits, of the unknown, of being forced to meet myself again and conduct an interview with my hopes, dreams, values, and passions. To be reminded that who we are is often as much a product of who we know and where we live as it is anything inherrent about us. To be forced to adapt from a life that was generally happy, if not always fulfilling, in favor of significant change, discomfort, and a new life, knowing full well that most of the people who made being here so great will be gone when (and if) I return, is at the very least, unsettling.

Is this the right thing to do? Is it a mistake? Is this the moment in which I will discover myself, when all the things that I have wanted will come more into relief? I don't know. And so I remain in limbo, caught between the past and my future, in an amorphous present, waiting and resisting. I am eager to know who I will be next May, and maybe I won't be all that different.

Maybe now is the time to just make decisions and hope for the best, to cut ties with the people I'm loving more each day, and know...as with all things in life...timing is everything. And hope that despite this feeling of unease, my timing isn't really off.

Traitor, Liebermann Is Your Name

2008-09-03T11:29:00.003-05:00

For shame Joe! For shame! Does it not smack of hypocrisy to claim that Obama isn't qualified to be president because he only has his eloquence, yet support a Republican ticket in which the VP candidate has significantly less experience? I hope that the Democrats cruise to a Senate victory this fall, leaving Liebermann (hehe) flailing in the wind, too socially liberal for the Republicans and a pariah to the party he abandonded because of his own personal shamelessness. Quote, when speaking of Obama: "...my friends, eloquence is no substitute for a record--not in these tough times for America." Liebermann has become so reactionary on foreign policy terms that he seems all to ready to abandon his social causes to a man--McCain--who will undermine them for the sake of their mutual "friends," the religious conservatives.

In other news: Rudy Giuliani thinks that Gov. Palin would handle a 9/11 tragedy well. Is it not distasteful for "American's Mayor" to trivlialize himself and all those who worked so hard on 9/11 to suggest that an individual who has never governed more than a million people at once would be up to the challenge of leading a world city of 18 million people to success during a terrorist attack? For shame, Rudy! You once stood for something. Now you're a political man through and through. Quote: "I'd be confident that she'd be able to handle it. She's been governor of a state, she's been mayor of a city." City?!

Do we really want this woman a heartbeat from the Presidency? Do we really want to let wackos like Giuliani and Liebermann

Michael Phelps, Pre-Embryo

2008-08-31T12:19:00.001-05:00

This is fun.

I want to be this soccer ball

2008-08-31T12:14:00.002-05:00

Buying a Camera

2008-08-26T13:57:00.003-05:00

So I'm in the market for a new dSLR camera. I'm not sure which to buy, and at this point, I've likely read way too much about them online in reviews, only getting myself more and more confused. However, I am trying to generate funds for the camera, so if you are interested in purchasing one of my pieces, let me know. :)

Something To Get You Through Monday

2008-08-24T23:00:00.002-05:00

This is what happens when you put a Kansas boy, named Carey Gabbert, on a California beach. Enjoy.

Hattip: Adventures of Gay Boys.

So, If Matt Mitcham...

2008-08-23T23:54:00.001-05:00

wins a gold medal, does that mean the God is rewarding him for being gay?

On Weddings

2008-08-23T23:35:00.003-05:00

Today marked the third wedding I've participated in during the past 2 months. Friends have been getting married, and I have provided my skills behind the camera and on the piano for their ceremonies and celebrations. Unfortunately, watching all the public acclimation of these three heterosexual couples has left me feeling rather bittersweet. Certainly, I'm happy for my friends. But I can't help but wonder how near impossible it will be for me to have some measure of their same, public, affirmation and acclimation. All of my friends getting married met each other in some relation to a college while they were still students; of course, the same goes for the majority of my friends who are in long-term relationships and are gay. That window of my life is closing. Throw in the fact that homosexual love isn't as well received...and I can't help but perpetually feel like the guy left out, the driver while others macked in the back seat, which is exactly what happened to me in high school. Sure, there is 'progress' towards gay marriages being more visible and accepted...but that doesn't necessarily translate into social affirmation from friends, family, or the society itself in the uncomplicated manner it exists for all of my friends and all others who are hetero and want to marry.

Of course, this is old stuff to all of you. And gosh, I want to have the wedding with the rehearsal dinner, and the musicians playing the amazing pieces, and all that jazz. Sigh.

How the Democrats Lost the 2008 Election

2008-08-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

Two words: Joe Biden.

Really? Biden?!? The antithesis of change? The insider? McCain is so scary that Obama runs in the complete opposite direction of his "change we can believe in" image?

What he can't do now:

1. Criticize McCain for being an insider.

2. Criticize McCain for being too old.

3. Gain a state through his VP that might be in play--Delaware is a solid blue state.

4. Gain a new constituency, such as more women, Latinos, or others.

Republicans are directing this election. And they have to be thrilled.

Sigh. He picked an old, mouthy, white guy.

Shades of 1938: Russia, Georgia, and the Failure of the West

2008-08-19T23:22:00.003-05:00

By now, you've certainly read or heard about the Russian/Georgian conflict of the past week. As you read this, the Russians are dismantling the Georgian infrastructure, either blatantly like their destruction of Georgian rail lines and seaports, or with more hidden means. Georgian politicians claim genocide; Russian generals and diplomats posture. And the West does nothing more than issue "strong" words, revoke the "privileges" of having links to NATO, and sell out a democratically-elected government.

Sound familiar? The comparisons are uncanny, at least diplomatically, to 1938. Georgia, which yes should have exercised more caution in trying to regain their territory, is essentially being told that the break away regions including South Ossetia are not theirs because they are inhabited by Russians. Sounds like Czechosolovakia and the Sudentenland. Russia's solution to the problem of a democratic revolution on their border has been two-fold: soft-power, by influencing local politics and extending citizenship to make Russians of Georgians in order that anything done to that group can be claimed as an act against all of Russia; which they precipitates the hard-power attack. Ukraine and the Baltic States are understandably worried, as Russian minorities exist there and the Russians have even used cyber attacks on their infastructure. Poland, which has now signed on to our missile defense program, has been told that they are 100% likely to be attacked.

And the West stands by, issuing words, believing that expressed displeasure and engagement will make a difference to a Russia led by a power-hungry Putin and his crony Medvedev, both emboldened by popular support and oil wealth. Both credited with helping Russia recover from the problems of the 1990s.

So, will we watch the Russians roll over Eastern Europe again? Will we abandon these people who so loved the West that they have tried nearly everything to be part of Europe and the world community, only to see their plans disrupted by Russian assassinations, Russian plots, and even now invasions?

To our leaders: now is the time to mean business. Europe should mobilize a rapid reaction force and move it to the Polish border; NATO should station forces in the Baltic. But the US must lead, and to lead, we must show that we do not abandon our allies to aggressive nations out to show they still have teeth. And that means the unpopular, but morally right, action of moving our forces near Georgia. Tyrants respond to shows of force; that we don't have to use it to effect diplomacy is easy to see in history. But Europe won't act because Russia already has them pinned to the wall with oil and gas delivery. So, the US must lead again the West. And that's not something we've done in 7 years. And just like then, we may find ourselves a few years later fighting a much more powerful foe that took our inaction and words as signs of our unwillingness to help our friends and stand up to tyranny. Of course, the moral ground on which we used to stand which would serve us so well is also gone after these 7 years.

If there was ever a time to elect a leader, it is now.

Viewers

2008-08-14T15:27:00.003-05:00

Apparently the majority of the people who visit my site now are looking for pics. I wonder if that's a good thing.

Cravin' the Asians: Hotties from Beijing

2008-08-13T12:36:00.005-05:00

So more than the Americans are drool-worthy in the male-flesh smorgasbord that is the Beijing Olympics. Here are the gold-medal-winning Chinese gymnasts. Above is team captain Yang Wei who led his team to victory four years after the collapse at Athens. Below is the whole team: I'm a big fan of the guy on the left, and the three guys from the right. Chen Yibing (L), then Xiao Qin, Yang Wei, and Zou Kai. The guys in the middle are Li Xiaopeng and Huang Xu.

Here the guy that is fourth from the left. Yum. His name is Xiao Qin.

And here's another where he shows off a sexy armpit:

Here's another of Chen Yibing.

And here's the Japanese silver medalists. Big fan of the guy on the left and the one second from the right.

Special Coverage of More Olympic Hotness in Beijing

2008-08-12T23:44:00.009-05:00

So, if you haven't been watching the Beijing Olympics, you've been missing out on not only a series of amazing performances by athletes, as well as a thrilling opening ceremony, but also an amazing display of the beauty and hotness that is the male body in all its diverse forms. So far, the competitions for swimming, diving, and gymnastics have provided a veritable buffet of delicious menz for our visual and fantastical consumption, and below, please enjoy some coverage of said hotness so far.

Note: My friend Sarah (who has a fun blog showcasing her delicious foodie habits) and I have for two nights enjoyed the bendyness of the sexy menz and their uniforms, so props to her for having HD! And we've enjoyed Michael Phelps, according to "Rowdy" Gaines (I love that name) "make boys" of the other menz. Hot.

So, first off, we have that limber, muscular 23 year-old hottie with size 14 feet (oh my!) Michael Phelps who is already the most decorated Olympian in history and is on target to beat Mark Spitz's 7 gold medals in one Olympics. Personally, I'm a fan of Phelps's nipples. Props to Hunk du Jour for these artsy shots.

Now part of Phelps's success has been due to his colleagues on the American swim team who have helped him win the relays. Below is Phelps celebrating with his friends, of which I must say that Ricky Berens (left) is super hot. Also pictured is Paul Vanderkaay and Ryan Lochte.

How can you not love muscly guys getting excited and embracing with their swim suits peeled half off?

Here's a great picture of Ricky Berens...woof! I'm definitely into that smile of his. And more.

More evidence of why peeling lycra off a male body is hot.

PS: I definitely need to become an official photographer of this hotness.

My Hiatus

2008-08-09T10:43:00.002-05:00

So since I last posted, I've moved out of my lovely apartment. No more lazing about in the copious light or photographing attractive men in various stages of undress, draped across various furniture in my place. No more place to call my home and to be able to decompress away from family or friends. I lived there for 5 years, so it's a bit sad to have had to leave. But soon, I'll be on to bigger and better things, hopefully.

My friends have been kind, offering me places to stay to delay the inevitable return back to the country. James has hosted me for a few days, and soon I'll be moving on to others. But I'm still in town for a bit.

Hopefully, my posts will be more regular now. I'm particularly interested in the Olympics--and yes, in more than the bulges of the swimmers--and I'm planning a new blog to chronicle my move to Mexico, leaving this one to have insights and comments on world events, men, and more.

So, if you're still out there, dear readers, hope to hear from you and reengaging with you in the next days and weeks.

Olympic Hotness

2008-08-09T10:41:00.001-05:00

Oh Rafael Nadal...my passion for you burns as bright as your suit!

Coming Out Insurance

2008-07-11T10:58:00.001-05:00

This is hilarious. For all your Gay Related Expenses.

A test.

2008-07-10T01:50:00.002-05:00

"Prostates are like unicorns..."

2008-07-08T01:52:00.004-05:00

So, the newest episode of Midwest Teen Sex Show is about the penis. Oh my! And there is a line in it which I love which is in response to a girl asking why her boyfriend wants her to play around with his boo-tay. The "grandmother" replies: "Because prostates are like unicorns. Hard to find, but once you do...magic." HAHAHA! I also like: "Men of the world...your penises are more than just jizz pistols!" And the part of the guys talking about how a penis knows when you think about it. So true.

Something to Get You Through Monday--Summer Swimwear Edition!

2008-07-07T11:09:00.005-05:00

If you're me, you love a man in his swimwear. So in honor of the summer sun, the hot frattish next door at the pool, and all those who think it's great a guy can wear his underwear publicly, I offer these gems for your Monday. Comment on who you like most.

Wall-E

2008-07-01T00:25:00.000-05:00

You should go.

Why Did This Not Happen to Me in College

2008-06-27T03:52:00.000-05:00

or today?

Something to Get You Through...boredom

2008-06-25T10:11:00.003-05:00

Insure Your Beef with AFLAC

2008-06-24T22:30:00.003-05:00

So, this photo makes me want to write a new AFLAC commercial:

"Now we even insure your beef. AFLAC!"

photo by Dimitris Yeros

Obama on Gay Marriage

2008-06-24T01:03:00.016-05:00

So, the Advocate recently ran an article by Kerry Eleveld which highlighted Barack Obama's recent declaration that marriage is between "a man and a woman." Obama was speaking with ABC’s Jake Tapper where he reiterated his opposition to the definition of marriage as anything other than the Christian-fundy "one man and one woman" perspective. As the article stated:

"This positioning is not new for Sen. Obama. He has uttered those words plenty – during a debate with Alan Keyes in 2004, on the Senate floor in 2006, even in his 2007 Human Rights Campaign candidate questionnaire."

Obama has also included anti-gay individuals in his campaign, as Sara Lai Stirland reported over at the Wired Blognetwork last October. This included homophobic Donnie McClurkin as part of his effort to win South Carolina. Certainly, as "Michael from Tonawanda, NY" argued, Obama's inclusion of McClurkin could be evidence that of Obama's effort to "show how he will bring people together. That you don't need to agree on everything to work with someone. "

That may be true. However, I'm skeptical that an avowed racist would be included in Obama's campaign as a sign of his willingness to bring people together; moreover, Obama wouldn't include someone that touted the role of a good woman was in the kitchen. Why? It is no longer politically correct or fashionable to be openly bigoted or sexist, even as both racism and sexism continue. Gays and lesbians, as well as any other queer individual, would seem to not yet have similar status.

To be fair to Obama, he has argued for the rights of civil unions between individuals. In the Advocate piece, he stated:

“I also think that same-sex partners should be able to visit each other in hospitals, they should be able to transfer property, they should be able to get the same federal rights and benefits that are conferred onto married couples.”

Eleveld pointed out that as recently as 2004 , such a position on civil unions and civil rights for same-sex partners was considered political suicide at worst, a major problem at best. Ohio and several others states, after all, held referendums on precluding marriage to same-sex individuals, and Republicans used that to their advantage. This year, with California making news for its groundbreaking marriage rights and the proposed amendment to eliminate those rights on the ballot in November, once again the unholy alliance between Republicans and the Christian Fundamentalists will try to drive sexuality as a wedge issue.

Obama's response it seems is to play it safe. I'm sure that many of his supporters, my friends included, will say that now is the time for pragmatism. Get Obama elected first, then we'll deal with more "sensitive" issues. Obama's recent ad, entitled "The Country I Love," is certainly laden with language meant to appeal to independents, especially those of religious ilk. Here's the ad if you haven't seen it:

Obama starts off with the politically cagey " I’m Barack Obama. America is a country of strong families and strong values. My life’s been blessed by both." "Values" and "blessed" have been Republican codewords for attracting the religious right, and this makes sense. This is part of his stated effort since 2006 to court Evangelical voters, recognizing the "power of faith in the lives of the American people." As the Washington Post reported that year, Obama went on to ask for a more nuanced understanding of God and American society; he likewise attacked the religious right in 2007 for "hijacking" faith. As Obama said:

"Somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and started being used to drive us apart. It got hijacked. Part of it's because of the so-called leaders of the Christian right, who've been all too eager to exploit what divides us."

Few issues have been used to drive us more appart than issues of sexuality, and in particular, homosexuality. It is ironic, then, that Obama has taken a "separate, but equal" approach through his inclusion of evangelicals in his campaign and campaign strategy. Moreover, it seems strange that he would not attack openly the ideas of the religious right, rather than parroting their ideology in his idea of a man/woman marriage. Separate but equal has been tried before--African-Americans have been denied rights along similar segregational lines. And the inclusion of evangelicals, including those in the African American community, is ironic in another sense, one that underlies the tension between black cultural and religious values and their allegiance to a "liberal" party--the black community's consistent refusal to come to grips with its own homophobia, a position that remains one key reason why the "down low" remains such a significant factor in the spread of AIDS and why rates are growing so high for black women dating "straight" men. To court many blacks and the evangelicals among them, homosexuality must remain a taboo subject, for fear of losing the "black vote."

No Democratic candidate can hope to win an election without the black community, and with Obama's affinity for a 50 state campaign--which I think is brilliant--putting potentially divisive issues under the rug for the time being would seem to make good political sense. He is, after all, "reintroducing" himself to America and to those Americans in "red" states which might be swayed for change, and arguing for his "faith" in the country he loves. As Paul Begala stated in the Advocate article:

"I have to say as a political consultant, this is where you don’t want to make news. It hurts your consistent position. He is where most people are, which is, we want to have civil unions, we want to have equal rights. But a lot of people get off the train on the word ‘marriage,’ and so you show respect for that.”

Such respect is part of the Democrats' attempt to not ruffle too many feathers by moving to the center. However, this strategy--as if the Democrats could get any closer to the center anyway, if they aren't already past it--has a significant price: the marginalization of the homosexual community. Even as Obama participated in a "gay debate" for LOGO television last summer--a debate he "lost" to Clinton and which was punctuated by Bill Richardson's "jetlagged" comment that homosexuality is a "choice"--he still remains opposed to full rights for homosexuals that are contained within the idea of "marriage". These in particular include social/cultural rights beyond the legal: the big showers and parties thrown for heterosexual couples, the wealth distributed to them at the parties, the Kitchenaid mixers and more.

In essence, Obama, despite being progressive in terms of civil unions--at least in comparison with the past--remains so rooted in the idea of bringing people together that he compromises the clearest civil rights issue facing America in decades. His position still doesn't take homosexuals and their desires for companionship and recognition by their peers and society completely seriously. After all, according to his position, the same-sex "marriages" in Massachusetts and California don't constitute marriage. Combined with his "faith" and his religious code-dropping, it is valid to ask exactly how beneficial he will be to the gay community.

Again, my friends will intervene and say: "He is light-years ahead of McCain." And indeed he is. However, there is something disingenuous about recruiting college students to wear Obama t-shirts in this upcoming Chicago pride parade if all he can promise is civil unions--maybe. (An acquaintance has tried to recruit me.) After all, there are all those state constitutions to amend, and his position has seemed more states' rights than a federal redefinition of the rights of coupledom. And if the issue is politically problematic now, why would it not be in January 2009, even with Democratic majorities extending in the Congress? Would not Democrats say that the issue is too "hot" to tackle when the nation needs to be "brought together?"

In one sense, Obama's position reminds me of friends--as well as Andrew Sullivan--who have long argued that extending rights to gays would make them "invisible" in society because they would be "just like everyone else." This sentiment may be genuine, but it has always seemed to be at the expense of elements of the LGBTQ community who don't fit the norm--the sexually promiscuous, the polyamorous, the adventurous spirits, etc. Everyone who is not interested in pairing up within a heteronormative idea of marriage. In essence, it is an argument for respectability, that gays are not different at all, even as it is recognized that there is that one elephant in the bedchamber making us different, but we'll keep that to ourselves prudently. It is an argument for the compromising of the diverse nature of being a sexual minority in favor of being included as part of the whole. Obama is on his own campaign of respectability and inclusion, attempting to garner for himself the bona fides of a faithful, patriotic candidate so that he can entice that approval of the large independent sector in this election, a sector likely to be crucial for his election. He is portraying himself as a compromiser and a man who can lead by pulling disparate people together, and these are indeed important qualities. That he is just like them, if only a little bit different.

This tactic, though, will never completely work (nor will it for gays as well), and at the end of the day, as Obama has already done, he will have to choose who's vote is more important to him and which perspectives are more valuable in an election. Supporting gay marriage outright would alienate evangelicals he wants to court, even though civil unions are the same idea, something the Democrats hope the Republicans don't cotton on to. In essence, he has chosen the politically viable path--the "separate but equal path," a path that undermines his interests in bringing people together. Even if only a rhetorical move that is nuanced in order to appeal to the most people, someone with Obama's experience should know that words have significant meaning, and "civil union" means something different than "marriage" in our society, including to those LGBTQ people who already are technically "married."

Not everyone can coexist successfully under the umbrella of a leader. Not everyone can be respectable enough to be included without some compromise--there should be no place for bigots (and the evangelicals who fuel them) in Obama's campaign. But reality says otherwise. What makes good political sense is not necessarily the right thing to do. And in this election year, once again, it is the LGBTQ community who will have to wait, be audacious with hope, and be mindful that Obama may mean change for America, but may also mean status-quo for us.

Mayo Love

2008-06-21T00:39:00.000-05:00

You might have seen this, but I found it humorous.

McCain is Bush III--A Short List

2008-06-18T19:56:00.000-05:00

So if your friends or family are still resisting the rational thought of voting for change, remind them of this:

On Major Political Issues:
McCain agrees with Bush on--Iraq, Iran, health care, gay marriage, abortion
McCain used to disagree, now agrees on--tax cuts, torture
McCain used to agree, now disagrees on--immigration
McCain always disagreed on--climate change, limiting nuclear weapons
(From my fav site, electoral-vote.com)

McCain has even gone so far as flip-flopping on torture--which is unthinkable given his own torture(d) past--as well as now not wanting to sponsor the very bill he worked with Ted Kennedy to pass on immigration because it isn't politically expedient for him to alienate the few conservative Republicans he might be able to win. Combined with his speaking and political gaffs, one has to ask the question: why would anyone really want to vote for a man seeming to lose not only his bearings--as evidenced in his Iraq/Iran/Al Qaeda gaff--but also a man who lost the maverick soul that made him so appealing in 2000?

Bottom line: McCain is too old, and his ideals, like his physical body, have been withered at a time we need a fresh start. His role should remain in the Senate, where he could do great things as an elder statesman. Now's not the time for Bush III...or Regan VI.

Something to Get You Through...whenever

2008-06-17T19:49:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I spent all day thinking today was Monday. And I realized I didn't put up totty this week. So here's some aussie luvin'. Not quite sure what "wettackle" involves, but my imagination really likes it.

From Hunk du Jour

Baracknophobia

2008-06-17T13:14:00.004-05:00

A classic John Stewart debunking of the myths of Barack Obama. My favorite parts: is this at 2:25--"Oh, this is interesting. SomeguyI'veneverheardof.com is reporting presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama has lady parts. Obviously scurrilous and unfounded, we'll examine it tonight in our special, 'Barack Obama's Vagina: The October Surprise In His Pants.'"

And, unfortunately, my grandmother is exactly the sort of person who sends out these emails.

The Real McCain

2008-06-17T12:53:00.001-05:00

The Real McCain.

Hattip: Gamera.

Crazy Guy Antics

2008-06-14T10:27:00.003-05:00

Another reason why the male species remains incredibly fascinating. With a cameo by grandma. All I have to say is--nice bulge, hottie boy.

Dear Obama: Nominate a Woman as VP

2008-06-13T14:41:00.003-05:00

After the hotly contested Democratic primary, and the subsequent attempts by McCain and Obama to court voters who were supporting Hillary Clinton, it is clear that women will be a major factor in the 2008 election. They should be. Making up 51 percent of the population, women are a majority in a nation that continues to limit them with glass ceilings, even if the one over the highest office has 18 million cracks in it. Let's face it: Clinton's campaign run highlights one of the grossest barriers still remaining in American society--the full participation of women at every level of government. If Chile can do it--hell if Pakistan can do it--why can't we?

So, in this historic year of the first African American president (something itself that has been too long coming), why not really poke a finger in the eye of the Republicans and make a platform for change that includes a woman on the ticket? For starters, should Obama pick a woman, this could go a long way to assuaging the anger felt by some of Clinton's supporters that their aspirations--as embodied in her--did not come to fruition. Moreover, it's just plain good sense--women are the biggest voting block, and having a woman on the ticket will reinforce the traditional strength that Democrats have among women.

My choice? I'd be fascinated by an Obama/McCaskill ticket. Why? Despite only being in the Senate 2 years, McCaskill has copious experience at the Missouri state level. Translation: she has experience. She's also 54 and from the mother of all swing states. Translation: She's young and she was elected in a state notoriously middle-of-the-road. Together, Obama and McCaskill can argue that the represent the best of the heartland: progressive Democrats who can effectively talk to city folk and rural citizens alike. McCaskill might be able to deliver Missouri as well, given her popularity; combined with Obama's success with black voters, educated voters, and youth voters, Missouri is definitely in reach. Additionally, her presence might help pull nearby states like Iowa and Arkansas into the Democratic orbit: Iowa is a swing state that needs to be Democratic, and Arkansas, despite being in the south, is dominated on a state-level by Democrats. That means in the best scenario, McCaskill pulls in 24 electoral votes. If Obama wins what Kerry did, that's the nomination without the other swing states he himself might pull.

For a fascinating breakdown of politics and potential choices, check out one of my favorite sites, electoral-vote.com.

Sunset

2008-06-10T22:10:00.002-05:00

Just a shot I took at sunset on a country road in Southern Illinois, May 2008.

Crisis of Faith; This I Believe

2008-06-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

So you may be aware of the "This I Believe" series running in NPR. I like this series because it offers a chance to hear people--famous and not--describe their beliefs about subjects ranging from politics to religion to life in general. However, I have realized lately that I have been suffering from a crisis of faith, a lack of being able to believe in much over the past 9 years, especially in the past 6. And as such, I have found it difficult to relate to my friends and new acquaintances that are very gung-ho about gay marriage rights movements, religion and spirituality, or politics (most notably the recent Obama-inspired political passions.) I sometimes wonder where the starry-eyed dreamer of a child I was went--where and when did he disappear into the mists of time and memory?

I no longer am the ardent believer in Christianity and the Christian God--that was pretty much dismantled by the confluence of being gay, a philosophy course or three, college, and access to beautiful men. I don't believe that change happens very commonly--just look at the mess our government is in and how hard it will be to change, if it is even possible at all. I don't believe everyone gets the storybook love--some people die alone, some people get love fleetingly, some never know what it was like in the first place. Part of this, of course, is growing up, but it seems to me that growing up is always viewed as the loss of the belief in endless possibility that so orientated a childhood (provided this childhood was one in which basic needs were met.) And it bothers me that this might be so. What is more, I've been called a pessimist on more than one occasion, which always startled me because I think of myself as a realistic optimist, someone who continually believes the good thing will happen in spite of it all.

So, I thought I would try my own version of "This I Believe" and see what, if anything, I do believe.

1. I believe in the unlimited potential of humanity to solve any crisis it encounters...along with the unlimited potential of humanity to find ways of ensuring that the same crises may never be solved. Essentially--I believe that humans, when putting in the effort, can accomplish things beyond our wildest dreams; I also believe that we can manifest, perhaps more easily, our worst nightmares.

2. I believe that finding love is mostly chance and a little bit of effort. But mostly, it's timing. Fortunately for most, someone else's clock is in tune at some point in their life. Waiting, though, is the hard part. Unfortunately, for some, the right paths never will cross. And a realist recognizes that.

3. I believe the hope tempered with practical experience is superior is superior to blind faith, but that one should always be willing to be surprised, to have a world view that still incorporates the magical and fantastical, the wild hopes and dreams of a child, the endless sense of possibility. Be practical, yes, but always have one eye on the lookout for that other path, the one that might not be necessarily obvious.

4. I believe that humans are in general kind and decent people, that the bad news we hear daily is but the work of a greedy few, rather than something inherent in our psyche. Most people do the right thing; it's those who forget what it was like to be poor, to be a minority, to love without condition, to enjoy simple moments in life that we have to look out for.

5. I believe that this planet is not ours, but is our home. We do not own it; we live on. As such, we should stop shitting in our water hole.

Not Cool...

2008-06-09T21:56:00.003-05:00

Ever realize you might not be as cool as you think or as cute as you hope you are? yeah.

Something to Get You Through Monday

2008-06-09T12:02:00.003-05:00

RJ Danvers. 19, furry, sexy.

On Presidential Glass Ceilings and Hillary Clinton

2008-06-07T12:21:00.004-05:00

It is seemingly an irony that when a candidate for our highest office loses, he or she then appears to be the most presidential. Remember how Al Gore transformed from a wooden, robotic presence on the campaign trail--in an election that his was to lose--to a funny and witty man on late night TV and then to a global warming crusader that inspired billions to act?

Such a transformation I saw today watching Hillary Clinton suspend her campaign for the presidency. Her speech was the most powerful I've seen her give, and she's given some good ones. She was gracious and affirming of Senator Obama--even if there were moments that seemed she still wanted to audaciously linger in the hope of being president herself. She rallied her supporters to the causes of universal healthcare, of a stronger middle-class, of civil rights and women's rights and even gay rights. She argued that no prejudice could stand in a 21st century America, that we needed more Democratic presidents to lead us progressively further, and that while she came close and opened the doors for future women to achieve that highest of honors and offices, Barack Obama was himself trailblazing a new path and deserved the full support of every Democrat, every Clinton supporter, every American.

Maybe some of Senator Obama's supporters will say she didn't go far enough, that waiting until Saturday to "suspend" her campaign was a slap in the face. And it is true that the campaign has been a hard fought and at times bitter one. But Clinton took the steps she needed to today to unify the party. She transferred the passion of her campaign to Obama, argued that her supporters must not let this moment slip away to change the course of our nation, and promised to continue influencing our society in a positive manner, believing that "yes we can", as Obama has so often said.

I wonder if perhaps she had ran a more gracious campaign things might have turned out a little differently, or if her husband and surrogates had played more honestly the political game that the rift in the party would be less significant. I myself have felt that having a woman president was well past due, and it was exciting to believe that perhaps it would come to be this year. But Clinton made it clear, even as she suckled her supporters on the marrow of enthusiastic recounting of all her successes, of her 18 million votes and primary victories, that Barack Obama should be our next president, that she and he shared a vision for the United States, that we are much more united than divided, and that it was time to heal. And so, she pledged to work for the first African American president of this great nation.

I think history will look more favorably on Hillary Clinton than it seems now in this moment in which the antagonism of the past few months lingers on. I think history will see her as a champion of women's rights to attain equality in this nation. And like any great character in literature, she is a flawed individual, driven nearly to the point of destructive abandon to achieve her goal of being President. Maybe it was about personal glory--there's always an element to any campaign that is vain--but it was as much about her ideals. That she lost sight of some of them in her effort is something to be remembered and learned from, but not something to excoriate her on any further. She has graciously bowed out, being more presidential today than she has in months.

Whether or not she is the VP nominee, becomes the Senate Majority Leader, is promoted to the Supreme Court, or runs for another sort of office, I don't think we've seen the end of Hillary Clinton yet. Her tactics were not always above board, but her messages remain important to be heard. In any other year, she would be our nominee. But, as she said, now is the time to not look back but forward and to the 8 year future that Barack Obama promises us, a future of progress, the attainment of rights, and a better life. And I think she did much to diffuse those who would not vote for Obama by arguing that their causes are one and the same; as much as she might have been a liability for Obama in the past, she will now be one of his biggest supporters, something that will be a benefit for uniting the party against Republican mismanagement and Bush III.

So, congratulations on proving that the glass ceiling in this nation has "18 million cracks" Senator Clinton. Perhaps if not you, your daughter will be the one to usher in that day when the majority--that is women--rule. That is a day I await with great anticipation. For now, while people may not agree with everything you did and how you did it, to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, you certainly did it your way.

Mountain Laurel

2008-06-07T10:56:00.003-05:00

Here is the Mountain Laurel, just in bloom, in North Carolina at the end of May.

A Glimmer of Hope

2008-06-06T12:03:00.002-05:00

Towleroad has reported on a mass commitment ceremony in Hollywood attended by T. R. Knight and his dapper beau Mark Cornelson. Seeing them together gives me a shred of hope that maybe California will do the right thing in the fall...and that maybe someday, someone that makes my heart flutter will want the same with me.

New Look

2008-06-05T22:26:00.002-05:00

So I've tweaked with my site a bit, given the limitations of blogger. What do you think?

A Letter to Californians On Gay Marriage

2008-06-04T14:26:00.003-05:00

Dear Fine People of California:
it's official. Your Supreme Court has taken actions to enable, as of June 17th, gay marriages within your state, ruling that provisions in your laws which denied such marriages were unconstitutional and unfounded. This is a bold, controversial move according to some, but it is a right move, a just move, and one that has been a long time coming. In this election year, one in which a black man will be our next president, change, as they say is on the wind. Rights that have been denied are being reconsidered, and ceilings imposed by certain groups who claim to represent the majority of Americans--even though they do not--are being broken. Your state, your fine state of California, which has always been an innovator and a progressive place where people of very diverse backgrounds and opinions can mingle, has now positioned that last frontier of civil rights--gay marriage rights--squarely in its sights. Some of you may not completely understand it; some may think it is un-American for two men or two women to express their love openly for each other and to have the community acknowledge them as full and equal partners in society. Both positions are understandable, given the rhetoric that some pundits would have you believe--that homosexuals are unfit to be together, that their love is sinful, that they make bad parents, that they only want sex, that some how the love of individuals you have never met who are of the same sex will threaten your own vows.

But this rhetoric is wrong. It is bigoted. It is hateful. It is un-American. Why? Because it goes against the principles upon which this nation claims to stand--that all people are created equal and should be equal under the law. That everyone has a right to work towards their own personal happiness, and to do so, they must have their life and the liberty to live their life as they choose. You don't have to understand gay relationships to recognize that people deserve the right to make their own choices. And, all research shows that gay individuals in long-term relationships make great couples, good parents, and are important contributors to their community.

Yet, you may not be convinced because of statistics. You may still find yourself squeamish at difference, and unable to completely relate. At this point, I would remind you that the price of citizenship in the United States is to be willing to allow someone to argue positions that make your skin crawl, that you would spend a lifetime opposing. I disagree with much of the conservative agenda--I'm told that this is because I am young, that I will grow more moderate as I age. Maybe so. But I also know that I'm allowed to disagree because someone decided decades ago that if an 18 year old was old enough to die in war, he should be able to vote in an election. Another example: brave individuals in the 1960s and 1970s argued that being "separate but equal" was not equality at all, but segregation, a way to keep minority groups bottled up and unable to influence the country as a whole or exert their will. Our system has always been one that tries to balance the will of the majority with the protection of the minority--this is seen in our governmental structure, where the Senate makes equal all states, while the House is populated according to population. It is in the best interest--indeed it is the duty--of the majority to provide for the rights and privileges of the minority, even as there may be disagreements between those groups. A majority is not a mandate to rule according to a narrow set of beliefs--it is a responsibility to ensure the protection of all Americans, regardless of political, social, or cultural statuses.

So, today, young people have a voice if they wish to use it. And African-Americans can vote and participate, like other minorities, in elections in ways they couldn't before. Sure, age profiling remains, racism continues, and gender inequality still occurs. But, because a few individuals decided to take a risk, to go against the received view, to challenge the pundits by showing that the majority actually was a much more kind and fair body than was believed, new rights were achieved, and our nation was made stronger.

Such is the task facing you. You are our most populous state. We look to you as a leader in civil rights and environmental reform. You are a Democratic state which has produced one of the most popular Republican presidents ever. You embody all the racial and social groups of the nation--rich, poor, and people of every color. You have one of the single most gay cities in the world, and some of the most conservative towns in our country. Yet, you come together to make a state that could stand alone as a nation, one in which progress is not limited by the restrictions of dogma, in which science and religion can coexist, in which people see others as people, not as something to fear.

It is therefore your duty and obligation to extend, this November, the rights your brave Supreme Court ruled in favor of to the whole populace. You must defeat the initiative on your ballot calling for a constitutional amendment to limit marriage to one man and one woman. This is another attempt at "separate but equal" and it will do nothing but deny rights to good citizens based upon their desire for love in a different way. Gays do not threaten you, and you know some, whether they are out to you are not. You may watch Ellen, like the music of Elton John, or think Gandalf was the best wizard ever. You may know a neighbor down the street who has a beautiful garden and is frequently visited by a 'friend'. Gay people are around you, they are your friends, your relatives, and the people you pass in the street.

The rhetoric facing you will be intense. There will be people who challenge you with appeals to religion, to Americanness, to hate. Resist them. Be bold. Be brave. Realize that the youth of this nation will overturn this initiative in the future anyway, but that you have a chance to send a clear message that California is an open-minded state, that it believes in the truly American ideal of equality and full citizenship, and that a group denied the basic rights enjoyed by the majority cannot ever fully participate in society at large. You are fighting the willful denial of rights to a group of people. You are fighting those who would deny those rights because of their own hatred (even as they may call it love) and their own fear of themselves and others who are different.

We believe that the people have the right to be heard. And arguing that a group can be heard but not fully seen is akin to saying that their voices are less important, second-class, distasteful. A minority group has not been heard if it is denied the basic rights enjoyed by society at large. Once granted, if you disagree with the gay point of view, oppose it. You do not have to like the color pink. You do not have to desire sexual congress with someone of your own sex. But you do have to allow that someone may like those things, may find them appealing. You're not required to understand; you're required to believe in the value of difference, to acknowledge that diversity is what makes us American and strong, not homogeneity.

So, dear Californians, vote your heart this November, but make sure your heart is in the right place. Fear not change, but embrace it as you always have. Turn away the bigots, fight the good fight, and lead our nation into an era in which all people are equal before the law.

Thank you.

Gay Twins "Gimme More"

2008-06-04T14:00:00.000-05:00

Here are two cute identical twins singing Brittany Spears's "Gimme More." I want more, too.

And in case gay twins make you go "Hallelujah", here are the same pair covering Rufus Wainwright's same of the same name.

Horny?

2008-06-03T14:02:00.000-05:00

Hattip: Nipple Lover's Blog

Looking Glass Falls

2008-06-03T09:32:00.001-05:00

This is Looking Glass Falls, in the Pisgah National Forest, near Brevard, NC. I took this picture on a beautiful, mild day, and the spray from the falls was very refreshing.

Something to Get You Through Monday

2008-06-02T12:45:00.000-05:00

I have never wanted to be a breast before in my life. But this picture of Matt Dallas, aka Kyle XY, has changed my mind.

Obama's Boxer-Briefs

2008-06-02T12:23:00.003-05:00

Show your support for that favorite Democratic candidate of yours by wearing boxer-briefs with Obama's likeness on them!

Butterflies

2008-06-01T13:46:00.002-05:00

I took this photograph when I was in North Carolina recently (hence the delay in posting on my blog!) I don't know what they were doing, but they were beautiful.

Current Crush Object: Jason Mraz

2008-05-31T17:21:00.005-05:00

So, I ran across this singer, Jason Mraz, by talking to my friend Peter, who totally wants to ravage Mraz proper. And I must confess, listening to his voice...seeing his penchant for playing the guitar in various stages of undress...recognizing his tufts of chest fur...and drooling over his fine features...I'm smitten as well. Case in point:

You will be too. This is "Absolute Zero."

Ah, Summer...

2008-05-31T14:53:00.003-05:00

when a guy's thoughts turn to glistening pecs, mesh shorts, and flip flops...and seeing one's former students half naked outside! Hawt.

Happy Birthday

2008-05-11T15:04:00.001-05:00

to me. :)

Current Crush Object--Teo

2008-05-10T13:08:00.007-05:00

So, if you haven't checked out Chaosmen.com for your fiesty interests in the menz doing naughty things to each other, you should give it a shot. Bryan over there is an accomplished photographer (and pornographer), and his work is much more artistic, sensual, and just darn hot than some of the other aberzombie sites.

For example, Teo. This boy is seriously hot. Boyish smile and face, long locks, and furry body. And a tat! Swoon! If you're looking for something for my birthday, wrap him up!

PS...you can see the rest of him over at Chaosmen. But I thought that all the furry boy lovers might like a little Teo tidbit. If you do go, keep in mind the site is NSFW...but you'll find both beautiful photos like these and frisky films, should you be into that. Bryan certainly blends the line between art and smut, and I think he succeeds.

How Obama Can Win in November

2008-05-10T12:06:00.003-05:00

It seems all but certain at this point that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee for president in 2008. His latest victory in North Carolina, as well as a strong performance in Indiana, has shown that his campaign, despite some recent controversies and setbacks, remains viable and strong. Obama has shown a resiliency against mounting odds: a press that seems determined now to unseat him as the prince of public opinion, an opponent who has played a significant amount of dirty pool in her attempts to get the nominee, a former pastor who seems hell bent on being a jackass in public just at the moment that Obama was weakest following losses in key battleground states, and a Republican opponent who's ties to bigoted, racist pastors are being ignored even as he attacks Obama through proxies (and seemingly can't tell the difference between Hamas and humus). Obama has succeeded in, at least so far, deflecting these issues, and so the question is, can Obama win in November?

Hillary Clinton has made a campaign of late claiming that she is more electable, and there is a measure of concern in the fact that she defeated Obama in key states like Pennsylvania and Ohio, is leading in polls in Florida, and has continuously rallied women and poor white and working-class voters to her campaign. Many of these voters claim that race is an issue, that they would vote for McCain if Obama was the nominee, and that Obama is an elitist, never mind that Clinton and McCain are themselves immensely wealthy and overeducated.

However, Obama can inspire people, and he can inspire this group. That much I am not concerned with. He can also address his "issues" with Latino voters by talking about those issues which face them the most--immigration being one of the most important. Adding Bill Richardson to his ticket would go a long way to smoothing this problem and would guarantee New Mexico, a swing state with 5 electoral votes. It may also help solidify Obama's appeal in Nevada and Colorado, two states that seem definitely in play in Obama's case.

To win, though, in November, Obama will need to pull out the guns and go after McCain. First, McCain must be painted as too old. Obama needs to pull this off without alienating the older voting block which already may be skeptical of him at times due to his appeal among young voters. McCain would be the oldest man elected president in our history, and his inability to seemingly grasp the realities of the Middle East should be a primary target. There is experience and then there is a need to be relegated to an elder advisorial role, and McCain should embrace his role as a senior senator. Obama's campaign should put him there.

Second, Obama must rally the youth to actually vote on his behalf and turn this into an election of change. Again, McCain's age will be a factor, as will be his intimate ties to his former enemies, the Bushes and Cheneys, et al.

Third, McCain's health is an issue. Cancer returns, and the stress of being President ages someone significantly. We need someone who's more able to deal with stress, a point that Obama can hammer home given the forces arrayed against him.

Fourth, McCain is Bush III. That mantra needs to be repeated continuously.

These are just some thoughts.

Ryan is ABD

2008-05-01T13:47:00.001-05:00

As of 12:00 pm yesterday, I am now ABD--All But Dissertation. I passed my last oral prelim exam. Hurray!

Larry King Honors Larry King

2008-04-25T17:53:00.001-05:00

One reason that Larry King is a great man.

In honor of all those who have faced oppression, we remember you today.

Day of Silence, Friday April 25

2008-04-24T18:24:00.001-05:00

In honor of the Day of Silence tomorrow, I present this ad, which sums up what all the silence is supposed to be saying, at least in one sense.

Fatigue

2008-04-23T21:23:00.003-05:00

Well, it seems that I started a conversation about blog fatigue that has spilled from my comments over to Reports from the Edge, one of my fav local blogs.

To my friends: I'm sorry I haven't commented more on your blogs...maybe that would have helped keep your muse pumping out the insightful stuff and cool interests that I always look forward to. I hope that you find a muse again.

As for me, the last firestorm on a post that was more in-depth--the one on politics--left me rather worn out. Since then, I've grown so disillusioned with the political system that I have stopped engaging friends of mine about the election cycle. I'll likely not be around for at least a year of the next presidency, so if it's McCain, he might not last that long anyway. Sigh. In think at the end of the day, the Democratic Party has so many factions, constituencies, and interest groups without a means of uniting them. Good people assume other good people aren't. Egos get in the way. And no one has stepped up to be truly radical, truly illuminating. Truly a leader.

Maybe Senator Obama can do that. To do so, he needs to find a way to connect with white, blue-color folks who populate some of the big states which could swing our way--or the other. Ohio, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. And if there has been anything good about Clinton staying in the race--and given her vicious nature in the past two months, there's very little--it has that Obama's intangibles have been exposed. Our job is now to find out a means of combating that, of taking the media to task for reveling in anything sensational that might take down the wonderkind politician. Of course, I for one am fatigued. But, I wish him well and a successful completion of this primary season. Maybe in June, we can all get inspired again, support Obama for president, Clinton for majority leader or governor of New York, and usher in a presidency of change.

Maybe then we'll have more to post about that isn't so fluffy.

Something to Get You Through Monday: Disney Characters Addition!

2008-04-14T12:03:00.003-05:00

Ever wonder what those hunks of the Disney movies look like without all those pixelated clothes? Well wonder no more! Here is sexy Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. You can keep Ariel; he's all mine.

And check out the others here.